I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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