Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
