he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
