She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Alive.
So much puke
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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