escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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