she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
