just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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