hotel room ftw
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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