his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want to make out with him forever
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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