weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Rumble strips road head = magical
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
