You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
