You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
