Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize