No stitches, just platelets and will power
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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