Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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