I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize