I have demons in me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
