i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
