I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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