I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
