Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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