Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
