Plan B is the new Plan A
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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