I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize