Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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