Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Too much gin, very little bucket
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
