well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
