While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
