I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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