Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
