i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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