Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
