3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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