okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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