i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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