if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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