So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize