I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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