We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
