i will never coherently bang her
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
