she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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