This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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