I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize