Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
this just has baby written all over it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
