margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
