the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
