She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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