That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize