he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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