You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
