eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize