After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
