His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
