I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
