We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
