i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
