Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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