I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
