You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
