I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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